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  • A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a ***
    >bar.
    > "What the heck," he says to himself, "I really want a drink."
    >
    > When the *** waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, "What's the
    >name
    > of
    > your willy?" The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I
    > want is
    >
    > a drink."
    >
    > The *** waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell
    >me
    > the
    > name of your willy. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the slogan
    > 'Just
    > Do It.'
    >
    > The guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because "It
    > really
    > Satisfies."
    >
    > The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give
    > him a
    > second to think it over.
    >
    > So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a
    >beer,
    >
    > "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?" The man looks back and says with
    >a
    > smile, "TIMEX." The thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?" The fella
    >proudly
    > replies, " 'Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!"
    >
    > A little shaken, the cowboy turns too the two fella's on his right,
    >who
    > happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita, and says, "So, what do you
    >guys
    >
    > call yours?" The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD,
    > because" Quality is Job One" Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford
    > lately?"
    >
    > The guy next to him then says, "I call mine CHEVY.....'Like a Rock!"
    > And
    > gives a wink!
    >
    > Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes
    > up
    > with a name for his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender and
    > exclaims, "The name of my willy is SECRET. Now give me a beer."
    >
    > The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled
    >look
    > asks, "Why Secret?"
    > The cowboy says, "Because it's 'STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!!!
    There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind.
    She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend.
    He was always there for her.
    She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'
    One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her.
    When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her
    boyfriend.
    He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'
    The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind.
    The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her.
    She hadn't expected that.
    The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.
    Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'
    This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.
    Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.
    Life Is a Gift Today before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.
    Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
    Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
    Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too
    early to heaven.
    Before whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
    And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the
    unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
    And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on
    your face and think: you're alive and still around and God love you
    my gosh , imma have to hurt someone ~! haha ,your friend betta be scurre'd when
    i get through with him.haha jk. :]
    hey there, sorry i missed ya. was taking care of something. we miss ya you nub. CHEA!!!
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