A SOUND... (CREATED - JUNE 16TH 2010) CNC

I L0v3 Anime

New member
The sweet scent of a rose on a breeze.
Drifting through the air such as I,Drifting through a darkened hollow.
The trees are all dead, the ground, blackened.
Within this hollow, I hear a sound.
This sound, is an odd sound.

Thu-thump, thu-thump, thu-thump.
The sound is continually getting louder as I move forward.
I close my eyes, and for a while just let myself follow the sound,
as if ensnared by a siren.
This sound, is an odd sound.

It's louder now, much louder.
THU-THUMP, THU-THUMP, THU-THUMP
I open my eyes, and in front of me is a grassy area.
In the center, a tall tree, looking to be flourishing with many flowers upon it.
This sound, is an odd sound.

I step onto the grass in front of me.
The sound stops, and I approach the tree.
"Tree", I ask it "how is it you survive here?"
The tree remains silent.
From behind the tree emerges a person, a beautiful woman.
The sound begins again.
This sound, is an odd sound.

Thu-thump, thu-thump, thu-thump.
The woman approaches me and leans to my chest.
She then backs up, and smiles.
I ponder at this for a moment, "what could it mean?" I think.
I open my mouth to speak, and she moves forward and begins kissing me.
THU-THUMP, THU-THUMP, THU-THUMP.
This sound, is an odd sound.

Wait, No, This sound is not odd to me.
It has been forever since I have heard this sound.
This woman, she must have caused this.
This sound, is my heartbeat.
This woman, has restarted it.
Yet, this whole time, all I can think is.
This sound, is an odd sound.
 

Jupiter

New member
interesting thats for sure.

I open my mouth to speak, and she moves forward and begins kissing me.


im not very fond of that line. its not very graceful lol. i might have tried something such as "she then leaned forward with a kiss"

when i read the line you have, it seems aggressive and sloppy to me. the res is good though. :)
 

xxThanatosx89

New member
Mello I thought it was good I'm no writer by any means so lil grammar things don't really bug me it was a good read

Ghost yours is interestiiiiing............!!!! Lol
 
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