XGC Kramer
New member
It's funny how i'm listening to a song, completely unrelated to anything i've experianced in my life...and yet small subtleties in what is being said and how it's being said, in combination with the music, is about to bring me impressions of various people i've met in my life. It makes me feel incredibly old, and yet i'm only an 18 year old boy, sitting infront of his computer, at 2:20am on a sunday morning (ok, saturday night to me as i haven't fallen asleep yet for this day). In only the past few years, i've lost touch with people who invoked emotions within me; a trait not everybody has in my life.
I'm not a terribly emotional man, but i'm terribly curious. Certain people, for reasons that escape me, have a draw on my emotions. I find i like them, nomatter what emotions they can draw out of me. They make me feel alive. I value my emotions, being able to feel the good and bad things in my life; it helps me appreciate what happens in my life. Yet i can never seem to draw upon the willpower to hold onto these people in my life. I allow them to let go if they so desire; and i may but them a long ways down the road, or i may feel too uncomfortable randomly trying to speak again. It varies from one person to the next. I'm strange in the sense that i can speak to a complete stranger about just about anything without fear or caution; somebody i know however, or have been around on occasion, i can be struck speechless or fearful of their reactions. I don't want to point our relationship in a direction that would alienate or make them feel uncomfortable, but a stranger has a blank opinion of me.
What harm can be done in acting freely and giving them a complete impression of "me"?
On a new note, isn't it refreshing to meet somebody who coincides with you in such a way, that you can talk for hours, taking turns, and not even feel the slightest desire to go do something else? Or even multi-task for that matter. You're totally satisfied just speaking to them. The balance is just right to maintain and interest you, for perfect amounts of time. I feel incredibly blessed to have met somebody like that, and have them a part of my life. However, i find it difficult to adjust myself to find balances with new people.
Now that i've found a right fit, the rest have to stand up to it. It's not fair, and i believe i'm cheating myself because of it. Everybody has slight differences, and it's important to find balances and fittings with each new person; or so i believe. We all have our own unique perspectives, and we all have something we can learn from our interactions with those around us. I've learned most recently, that i have a lot of perspective issues as i am today. The hard thing, is those can be the most difficult to change. When your perspective is skewed with a number of things, trying to catch yourself in the act becomes a challenge; as it's a part of who you have become, whether it's appreciated or not.
I've chosen to be honest; i've begun correcting my lies as they come out, and even paused mid-lie and corrected myself. The truth has hurt a few, but it's the truth they've asked for. I'll put it as kindly as possible, but i've chosen to give people what they desire. From personal experiances in my life, i've valued the chance to grow in my own paths, from my own errors.
Growing up, my teachers recommended to my parents to get me checked out for A.D.D. and A.D.H.D., i was a hyperactive child with anger management issues. I only found out recently, but that's because my parents chose not to get medical help, and allow me to grow on my own. I thank them for that today; i couldn't have become who i am without that opportunity to know myself, and decide what i want to work towards becoming. Now my youngest brother is facing a similar situation, only he's being given the help. I don't entirely agree with the choice, but his situation is a tad more dire as he's failing his classes. I imagine my brother won't grow up as I have, and won't have the same morals as I as a result. But he's a great example of the differences we all have. We have our own ways to find an answer, our own ways to value things, and our own ways to identify the beauties in life (no, i'm not talking about hot babes/dudes; sorry people). Because of my life's experiances, i'm a strong supporter of strong communication and self-evaluation; yet my brother will likely be a strong group person, and advocate for medical assistance. Neither way is wrong, it's simply a prefurance created by small changes in the ways our lives progressed.
This all sorta brings me to my point. There will be people out there we will rub the wrong way; not because they hate us, simply because we are similar in purpose and yet can vary tremendously in our methods. When two people have conflicting methods and yet the same goal, frustration is likely the only outcome; yet it's because of these differences that we can help and support such a wide variety of people coming into this world. No one method is the only right way; the world isn't as cut and dry as 1+1 = 2; 1+1 can also equal window (Draw it out, 1+1, with long "stands" under the ones. You can add curtains if you'd like ^_^).
So why spit this out here? To raise awareness. Education is what is used today to fight the spreading of STDs, lower drunk driving accidents, and increase acceptance of people held down in society due to sexism, sexual attraction, and racism. Did you know one of the most accepting schools in the United States for homosexuality and issues concerning Gender identity is Harvard? With greater awareness often comes greater acceptance. If everybody thought about why other people do what they do, instead of simply what they are doing, we'd have a much more peaceful and accepting society.
I'm not a terribly emotional man, but i'm terribly curious. Certain people, for reasons that escape me, have a draw on my emotions. I find i like them, nomatter what emotions they can draw out of me. They make me feel alive. I value my emotions, being able to feel the good and bad things in my life; it helps me appreciate what happens in my life. Yet i can never seem to draw upon the willpower to hold onto these people in my life. I allow them to let go if they so desire; and i may but them a long ways down the road, or i may feel too uncomfortable randomly trying to speak again. It varies from one person to the next. I'm strange in the sense that i can speak to a complete stranger about just about anything without fear or caution; somebody i know however, or have been around on occasion, i can be struck speechless or fearful of their reactions. I don't want to point our relationship in a direction that would alienate or make them feel uncomfortable, but a stranger has a blank opinion of me.
What harm can be done in acting freely and giving them a complete impression of "me"?
On a new note, isn't it refreshing to meet somebody who coincides with you in such a way, that you can talk for hours, taking turns, and not even feel the slightest desire to go do something else? Or even multi-task for that matter. You're totally satisfied just speaking to them. The balance is just right to maintain and interest you, for perfect amounts of time. I feel incredibly blessed to have met somebody like that, and have them a part of my life. However, i find it difficult to adjust myself to find balances with new people.
Now that i've found a right fit, the rest have to stand up to it. It's not fair, and i believe i'm cheating myself because of it. Everybody has slight differences, and it's important to find balances and fittings with each new person; or so i believe. We all have our own unique perspectives, and we all have something we can learn from our interactions with those around us. I've learned most recently, that i have a lot of perspective issues as i am today. The hard thing, is those can be the most difficult to change. When your perspective is skewed with a number of things, trying to catch yourself in the act becomes a challenge; as it's a part of who you have become, whether it's appreciated or not.
I've chosen to be honest; i've begun correcting my lies as they come out, and even paused mid-lie and corrected myself. The truth has hurt a few, but it's the truth they've asked for. I'll put it as kindly as possible, but i've chosen to give people what they desire. From personal experiances in my life, i've valued the chance to grow in my own paths, from my own errors.
Growing up, my teachers recommended to my parents to get me checked out for A.D.D. and A.D.H.D., i was a hyperactive child with anger management issues. I only found out recently, but that's because my parents chose not to get medical help, and allow me to grow on my own. I thank them for that today; i couldn't have become who i am without that opportunity to know myself, and decide what i want to work towards becoming. Now my youngest brother is facing a similar situation, only he's being given the help. I don't entirely agree with the choice, but his situation is a tad more dire as he's failing his classes. I imagine my brother won't grow up as I have, and won't have the same morals as I as a result. But he's a great example of the differences we all have. We have our own ways to find an answer, our own ways to value things, and our own ways to identify the beauties in life (no, i'm not talking about hot babes/dudes; sorry people). Because of my life's experiances, i'm a strong supporter of strong communication and self-evaluation; yet my brother will likely be a strong group person, and advocate for medical assistance. Neither way is wrong, it's simply a prefurance created by small changes in the ways our lives progressed.
This all sorta brings me to my point. There will be people out there we will rub the wrong way; not because they hate us, simply because we are similar in purpose and yet can vary tremendously in our methods. When two people have conflicting methods and yet the same goal, frustration is likely the only outcome; yet it's because of these differences that we can help and support such a wide variety of people coming into this world. No one method is the only right way; the world isn't as cut and dry as 1+1 = 2; 1+1 can also equal window (Draw it out, 1+1, with long "stands" under the ones. You can add curtains if you'd like ^_^).
So why spit this out here? To raise awareness. Education is what is used today to fight the spreading of STDs, lower drunk driving accidents, and increase acceptance of people held down in society due to sexism, sexual attraction, and racism. Did you know one of the most accepting schools in the United States for homosexuality and issues concerning Gender identity is Harvard? With greater awareness often comes greater acceptance. If everybody thought about why other people do what they do, instead of simply what they are doing, we'd have a much more peaceful and accepting society.
