XGC Kramer
New member
Anybody seen the hugscampaign.com video? It's a very moving project a man took part of. It started simply as him wanting a hug, and deciding to share one with whoever wanted one. He made a sign, and held it up in the middle of a highly walked area; there he waited. It took a while for people to take him seriously, but eventually people began to approach him for hugs. People would share their thanks, what it ment to them, and some would just take the hug and go on; but eventually others began to join in the "movement". Eventually it was prohibited though, and then in resistance the people began to petition to keep their "free hugs". They collected 10,000 or more signatures, and eventually they were allowed to again stand out there, and share their warmth with all who desired it. You can find the story here: http://www.freehugscampaign.org
(If that doesn't work, search google for the hugs campaign)
I think it's great that there are people showing somebody cares. Nomatter what a person does, everybody deserves the chance to live on and change. If a person ruins a single relationship, does that make them deserving of a failed life? We all have our ruts, and everybody needs somebody to lean on, at some point in their lives. We aren't soldiors, we aren't "impeneterable" men or women; we all feel emotion and pain.
Who's heard that men are emotionless? Or that men never cry? It's a pretty common stereotype among men, especially the "strong and silent" type. It's a lie. Psychology has revealed that both men and women on average experiance the same range of emotional responses to events in our lives. Those stone-cold men may just be holding in the tears for when they get home. So when they run out in an anger? They may just be trying to get away without any questions asked, to ball their eyes out or try to forget anything happened. But shh, don't tell anybody i told you; i may get jumped for letting the secret out.
I'm not a strong advocate for hugs, i feel pretty awkward most of the time; but i understand the weight they can carry. We all need a way to cope; men often find it in doing something to distract themselves, or women will call a trusted friend and express themselves to their hearts content. Both are two very different approaches, and each fills it's own purpose. Problems however, arise when the men feel their privacy has been breached, or the women feel they're being ignored; of course, it can happen the other way around as well. We'll all have slightly different things we do to cope with the troubles in our lives; the best we can do however, is be understanding and respectful of those differences.
Personally? I love playing video games. I've discovered it's a great way to get past any rough stuff that i've experianced lately. I can literally veg out and live in another world. Books can serve to focus my mind on subjects or events; and i've discovered a talent in myself for finding the answers to problems i have within them.
How about when a problem arrives regarding a person? You can't just satisfy your own needs on the problem, and you can't just ignore them and focus on something else. People problems deserve being solved, for the sake of yourself and the other party; whom more than likely is suffering in their own way. The only way to solve those problems, is through communication. Talking and writing are the clearest ways of relaying our own thoughts on issues, and the best methods for solving problems.
I've discovered i need time to calm myself at times before speaking (ok, i'm often notified of the condition; i admit it) or given a pause to organize my thinking. Some people may feel most comfortable writing instead of speaking; perhaps for fear of their self-restraint when verbalizing their emotions, or perhaps for another reason. Either way, it's everybodies responsibilty to be able to accept whatever method is most comfortable for the other party; you're trying to mend something at this point, and being picky about form isn't going to help anything.
Hugs are great rechargers, but it doesn't relieve the importance of opening yourself to those important to you, and letting them have your ear when it's needed; but equally so, it's just as important for those in need of an ear, to have faith in the friend and ask for attention when it's needed. There are no need for long pleasantries or booting around the bush; people often aren't psychic enough to pick up on whatever you want them to notice. You need to find the gall in yourself to bring it up; and trust in the other to honor you.
Not sure how to make people feel safer confiding in you? Smile to people more often, joke with people, ask in a serious tone how things've been and inquire a little bit. Show them you're a happy, caring person; show them that you're interested. Beyond that, it's up to the other person to reach out to you. All you can do is show that you're open if they need you. That's all any of us can do.
(If that doesn't work, search google for the hugs campaign)
I think it's great that there are people showing somebody cares. Nomatter what a person does, everybody deserves the chance to live on and change. If a person ruins a single relationship, does that make them deserving of a failed life? We all have our ruts, and everybody needs somebody to lean on, at some point in their lives. We aren't soldiors, we aren't "impeneterable" men or women; we all feel emotion and pain.
Who's heard that men are emotionless? Or that men never cry? It's a pretty common stereotype among men, especially the "strong and silent" type. It's a lie. Psychology has revealed that both men and women on average experiance the same range of emotional responses to events in our lives. Those stone-cold men may just be holding in the tears for when they get home. So when they run out in an anger? They may just be trying to get away without any questions asked, to ball their eyes out or try to forget anything happened. But shh, don't tell anybody i told you; i may get jumped for letting the secret out.
I'm not a strong advocate for hugs, i feel pretty awkward most of the time; but i understand the weight they can carry. We all need a way to cope; men often find it in doing something to distract themselves, or women will call a trusted friend and express themselves to their hearts content. Both are two very different approaches, and each fills it's own purpose. Problems however, arise when the men feel their privacy has been breached, or the women feel they're being ignored; of course, it can happen the other way around as well. We'll all have slightly different things we do to cope with the troubles in our lives; the best we can do however, is be understanding and respectful of those differences.
Personally? I love playing video games. I've discovered it's a great way to get past any rough stuff that i've experianced lately. I can literally veg out and live in another world. Books can serve to focus my mind on subjects or events; and i've discovered a talent in myself for finding the answers to problems i have within them.
How about when a problem arrives regarding a person? You can't just satisfy your own needs on the problem, and you can't just ignore them and focus on something else. People problems deserve being solved, for the sake of yourself and the other party; whom more than likely is suffering in their own way. The only way to solve those problems, is through communication. Talking and writing are the clearest ways of relaying our own thoughts on issues, and the best methods for solving problems.
I've discovered i need time to calm myself at times before speaking (ok, i'm often notified of the condition; i admit it) or given a pause to organize my thinking. Some people may feel most comfortable writing instead of speaking; perhaps for fear of their self-restraint when verbalizing their emotions, or perhaps for another reason. Either way, it's everybodies responsibilty to be able to accept whatever method is most comfortable for the other party; you're trying to mend something at this point, and being picky about form isn't going to help anything.
Hugs are great rechargers, but it doesn't relieve the importance of opening yourself to those important to you, and letting them have your ear when it's needed; but equally so, it's just as important for those in need of an ear, to have faith in the friend and ask for attention when it's needed. There are no need for long pleasantries or booting around the bush; people often aren't psychic enough to pick up on whatever you want them to notice. You need to find the gall in yourself to bring it up; and trust in the other to honor you.
Not sure how to make people feel safer confiding in you? Smile to people more often, joke with people, ask in a serious tone how things've been and inquire a little bit. Show them you're a happy, caring person; show them that you're interested. Beyond that, it's up to the other person to reach out to you. All you can do is show that you're open if they need you. That's all any of us can do.
