XGC Kramer
New member
so, lately i've been noticing more and more that i'm a stubborn guy. I preach about wanting to improve myself, wanting to grow, wanting to become a better person...and yet when somebody says something i disagree with strongly, i'll argue. I'll be really stubborn about it. I'll despute it constantly. I'm still listening, taking in the words and slaughtering them as they pass through my mind. But when it's all over, if there comes i time i can't argue any longer, i'll bend my opinion a little bit. If a person matches my ferociousness, things will begin to stand out in what they're saying. I'll take notice of more of their perspective.
I analyze this world, and stand firmly by my analysis. It's not a lie when i say i try to see things from other peoples' perspectives; but it'll always be colored by my own views and experiances. It's the same for everybody else: we don't know what everybody has experianced, what has brought them to believe what they have come to believe. What i do know, is what i've experianced. Through trials, at times hardships, and more than anything analzing my own life and the stories i can gleem from other people i interact with. It's a very limited view, but it's the one i have faith in. It's what i hold confidence in.
Nomatter what the ideal, the opinion, or the reasons for anything...there is nothing purely "good" or "bad". You can always find a view to argue or dispute from. An insane homicidal maniac is not born with a knife and wicked mind; more than likely he's the result of a horrible and traumatic life. Is it fair to punish him for being delt a wicked life? Wouldn't it be better to care for him and reform him? I have no doubt there are people who have been reformed before being caught. However, most people stand that people like that need to be lucked up and the key thrown away; sometimes people even go as far as killing the person who's gone crazy. We're all animals deep down, the only thing that keeps us from killing indescriminately is what we're raised and shown; if we were raised with wolves we'd live the life of a wolf. We may be born with an identity of our own, but we don't have to be who we are today. It's the result of what has happened in our lives that have shaped us.
My compass for my life, is my beliefs. I've built them on my own experiances and opinions. They're what i have come to trust. In others i gleem parts of the greater picture of "truth", but in the end that's only from my perspective. Why am i stubborn? Because i represent my experiances and hardships. I stand here as a testimony of what my "person" has become through my life. I cannot simply submit to another person's world views.
Boys are raised never to cry, that it's a symbol of weakness. It is true that if you care deeply enough about anything to cry, that you have a weakness; you have strong feelings and aren't "stoic". If your determination can waver, you can be dominated by another who contains a stronger determination. There are more than one kind of strength in this world: the stubborn man who holds true to his own beliefs and goals, uncaring about what it causes others (pure strength); and there is the man who is so flexible, so bending and adapting that he is never confused. The strong, stubborn man is immune to frailties of the heart, never giving an opportunity to others which could lead to wounding or killing him; yet the flexible and yeilding man has no enemies to fear, and can fully realize his emotions and be free to experiance the world at the expense of any selfishness.
Nobody can be perfectly steadfast in either way, each of us have to find a balance which is right for us. The world cannot exist in absolutes. Everything is in shades of grey, there is no greater truth than that. Everything good has a dark side to it, everything bad contains some good. I am unyielding in many ways when it comes to my thoughts and opinions, but it's a balance i'm still struggling to find in myself. We all must sacrifice something to attain what we want; what's important to you? what are you willing to sacrifice for it? The stubborn man gives up his emotional ties and is alone forever, while the flexible man must sacrifice his personal dreams and live through others instead.
What in yourself do you refuse to give up? Where do you draw the line? These are the questions we wonder everyday without ever bringing them into words. All the times we are angered, all the times we are saddened...it's the results of these questions. Lines are being crossed which we aren't comfortable with. Ideals we've established, expectancies we've made for our own world views are being broken whenever we "feel". Anger comes to defend or avenge something we don't like or refuse to tolerate (it's rebellious in nature), while crying is when we need relief from the loss of something that we gave a part of ourselves to. That's the world we live in. We all sacrifice, there are no true "stubborn" people, nor totally flexible people...We are all struggling to find the balance. But maybe knowing the question and the cause illiciting our responses, will help you focus on yourself and why you are "you". Maybe you can focus on your journey to become the person you desire to become; or perhaps you'll choose instead the path to aid another's path.
I analyze this world, and stand firmly by my analysis. It's not a lie when i say i try to see things from other peoples' perspectives; but it'll always be colored by my own views and experiances. It's the same for everybody else: we don't know what everybody has experianced, what has brought them to believe what they have come to believe. What i do know, is what i've experianced. Through trials, at times hardships, and more than anything analzing my own life and the stories i can gleem from other people i interact with. It's a very limited view, but it's the one i have faith in. It's what i hold confidence in.
Nomatter what the ideal, the opinion, or the reasons for anything...there is nothing purely "good" or "bad". You can always find a view to argue or dispute from. An insane homicidal maniac is not born with a knife and wicked mind; more than likely he's the result of a horrible and traumatic life. Is it fair to punish him for being delt a wicked life? Wouldn't it be better to care for him and reform him? I have no doubt there are people who have been reformed before being caught. However, most people stand that people like that need to be lucked up and the key thrown away; sometimes people even go as far as killing the person who's gone crazy. We're all animals deep down, the only thing that keeps us from killing indescriminately is what we're raised and shown; if we were raised with wolves we'd live the life of a wolf. We may be born with an identity of our own, but we don't have to be who we are today. It's the result of what has happened in our lives that have shaped us.
My compass for my life, is my beliefs. I've built them on my own experiances and opinions. They're what i have come to trust. In others i gleem parts of the greater picture of "truth", but in the end that's only from my perspective. Why am i stubborn? Because i represent my experiances and hardships. I stand here as a testimony of what my "person" has become through my life. I cannot simply submit to another person's world views.
Boys are raised never to cry, that it's a symbol of weakness. It is true that if you care deeply enough about anything to cry, that you have a weakness; you have strong feelings and aren't "stoic". If your determination can waver, you can be dominated by another who contains a stronger determination. There are more than one kind of strength in this world: the stubborn man who holds true to his own beliefs and goals, uncaring about what it causes others (pure strength); and there is the man who is so flexible, so bending and adapting that he is never confused. The strong, stubborn man is immune to frailties of the heart, never giving an opportunity to others which could lead to wounding or killing him; yet the flexible and yeilding man has no enemies to fear, and can fully realize his emotions and be free to experiance the world at the expense of any selfishness.
Nobody can be perfectly steadfast in either way, each of us have to find a balance which is right for us. The world cannot exist in absolutes. Everything is in shades of grey, there is no greater truth than that. Everything good has a dark side to it, everything bad contains some good. I am unyielding in many ways when it comes to my thoughts and opinions, but it's a balance i'm still struggling to find in myself. We all must sacrifice something to attain what we want; what's important to you? what are you willing to sacrifice for it? The stubborn man gives up his emotional ties and is alone forever, while the flexible man must sacrifice his personal dreams and live through others instead.
What in yourself do you refuse to give up? Where do you draw the line? These are the questions we wonder everyday without ever bringing them into words. All the times we are angered, all the times we are saddened...it's the results of these questions. Lines are being crossed which we aren't comfortable with. Ideals we've established, expectancies we've made for our own world views are being broken whenever we "feel". Anger comes to defend or avenge something we don't like or refuse to tolerate (it's rebellious in nature), while crying is when we need relief from the loss of something that we gave a part of ourselves to. That's the world we live in. We all sacrifice, there are no true "stubborn" people, nor totally flexible people...We are all struggling to find the balance. But maybe knowing the question and the cause illiciting our responses, will help you focus on yourself and why you are "you". Maybe you can focus on your journey to become the person you desire to become; or perhaps you'll choose instead the path to aid another's path.
