Demon6324236
New member
This is a book I started about 6 months ago do you think it is good or bad.
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away
Chapter 1
Young Jedi padawan Kiros Serose was knocked down by his master Destaro Maxus. His master's light saber at his throat.
"Sorry I let my guard down master.” He said.
Said Destaro,"It's okay padawan everyone makes mistakes."
Then Destaro went to talk to Master Yoda, head of the Jedi Counsel.
"Master Yoda I would like to request a mission for myself and Kiros.", proclaims Destaro.
Yoda asked,"What type of mission Master Destaro?"
Destaro answers"A mission to teach Kiros a lesson."
"A mission there is, on Yaven Three."
"What are we to do once there Master Yoda?",asked Destaro.
Yoda replied,"Need to find a rumor, you would."
"What do you meen Master Yoda?",said Destraro.
"A Jedi on Yaven Three there is, turned to the darkside he has.",Yoda said.
Destaro asked,"So we need to track him down and bring him back?"
Yoda replied,"Yes, Master Destaro."
"Then we will be on our way shortly.",said Destaro.
"May the force be with you Master Destaro.",said Yoda.
"And may the force be with you Master Yoda.",replied Destaro.
Chapter 2
Once on Yaven Three Destaro went to a bar to see if they could find someone who knew the Jedi who turned to the dark side.
"What will it be?", Said the bartender.
"Nothing thank you."said Destaro. Do you know where a Jedi who was sent to this moon is?", he then asked.
"Somebody came in here a few days ago, said he was a Jedi he had a few drinks and left.",saidthe bartender.
"Do you know where he went.",asked Destaro.
"I overheard him say he was going to Yaven Four",said the bartender.
"Thank you for your information",remarked Destaro.
He then went outside to tell Kiros what they were going to do next.
"Kiros, he is hiding near here and he knows the bartender.",proclaimed Destaro.
"How do you know master?",asked a clueless Kiros.
Destaro answered,"The bartender said he is on Yaven Four."
"So why not go to Yaven four?",asked Kiros.
Destaro replied,"I feel a disturbence in the force and can sense he is here."
"Where is he Master?",asked Kiros.
"Over there!",yelled Destaro.
They had a massive lightsaber battle and Destaro got force pushed away and Kiros disarmed him.
Chapter 3
"Master, I won, I defeated him, I'm the best.",said an over confident Kiros.
"Good Kiros but don't get co cky."Said Destaro.
"Yes master.",said Kiros.
Once they got back to Corasont they went to turn over the Jedi to Yoda.
"Here is the Jedi, master Yoda" Said Destaro.
"Good job, master Destaro and Kiros."Replied Yoda. "Scarb",he said.
"I dont know.",said the Jedi.
"Scarb, what do you meen master Yoda?",said Kiros
Yoda replied,"A Sith Lord, he is."
"Who is this then?",Kiros asked.
"Master Ciron this is.",replied Yoda.
"So who is Scarb.",Destaro asked.
Yoda replied,"A Sith Lord, he is."
"So why send us to get Ciron?",asked Kiros.
"So he thinks I'm with him",Ciron said,"But now we make a big deal over my escape to Zamardia."
"What escape?",Kiros asked.
"Give him a registered ship we will, make it look like an escape we must." Yoda said.
"So are we to chase Ciron and let him get close to the Sith Lord for us?",asked Kiros.
"Very perseptive young Serose.",said Ciron.
Kiros then asked,"Also master Yoda, am I ready to become a Jedi knight?"
"Ready, you are not.",he replied.
Kiros angerly asked,"But I defeated Ciron, didn't I master Yoda?"
"Trying to kill you he was not, trying to get caught he was.",He answered.
Chapter 4
After his loss at the hands of Kiros, Ciron was angry he had honestly gone all out against him and he still lost
“Why, why, why could I not defeat that padawan?” he yelled
“Do you want power?” a voice asked “Unlimited power to take down all your enemies with no effort what so ever.”
“Who are you?” Ciron asked “And what do you mean unlimited power.”
“My name is Darth Scarb, I am a sith lord, and I saw you get captured, I want you to join me.”
Proclaimed Scarb.
Ciron yelled, “A sith, why would I join a sith I’m a Jedi Master?”
“Ah yes, but I’ve heard you are special you have a hate for young Kiros” Scarb Declared.
Ciron responded, “I may dislike him but Jedi do not hate and so I do not hate.”
Scarb walked away saying, “You may not admit it but you do hate him. And to defeat him you must use that anger and hate and turn to the Dark Side.”
Ciron pondered, “I wonder, do I hate him? Do I hate him enough to turn to the dark side?
And if so, should I turn?” He then yelled, “How do I begin my path to the dark side lord Scarb!”
“Follow me and I will show you how to use the dark side, my apprentice.” Scarb said Ciron following.
Chapter 5
The next day Ciron started his escape. He first used the force to trick a
clone trooper to disable the lock on his light saber. Next he used it to cut himself out of his cell and cut down the trooper. He then cut through the door and 3 more stood in his way, but they were no challenge. He deflected 1 shot and it hit one of them. He then dashed at the others and slashed one. The last one was scared and walked backwards shooting rapidly. Ciron jumped over him and slashed him in the back. Ciron then called upon the force to run approximately 150 MPH. He got to the Command center and sliced a hole in a window. He jumped through the hole straight into the c o c k pit of an ARC 170 starfighter. He then made his escape from Corusant and flew to Koroben where he was to meet Scarb again.
"Do you think he will make it to Zamardia, before he gets trapped by the sith? “Destaro asked.
Kiros responded, “How will you know that he will not fall to the dark side?"
"Know of the temptations he does, fall to the dark side he will not." said Yoda.
"I agree master, but he was mad when I declared my victory. "Keros said, "Master didn't you sense it? “He then asked Destaro.
"I did feel anger, but many people were around, so I thought it was someone else. Are you sure it was him, and not someone else thinking you attacked him for no reason?" He asked horrified.
“I'm sure I even heard a whisper in the deepest reses of his mind saying "I used all my power. That padawan still defeated me, he will pay, he will die."“
Post if you like it or not.
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away
Chapter 1
Young Jedi padawan Kiros Serose was knocked down by his master Destaro Maxus. His master's light saber at his throat.
"Sorry I let my guard down master.” He said.
Said Destaro,"It's okay padawan everyone makes mistakes."
Then Destaro went to talk to Master Yoda, head of the Jedi Counsel.
"Master Yoda I would like to request a mission for myself and Kiros.", proclaims Destaro.
Yoda asked,"What type of mission Master Destaro?"
Destaro answers"A mission to teach Kiros a lesson."
"A mission there is, on Yaven Three."
"What are we to do once there Master Yoda?",asked Destaro.
Yoda replied,"Need to find a rumor, you would."
"What do you meen Master Yoda?",said Destraro.
"A Jedi on Yaven Three there is, turned to the darkside he has.",Yoda said.
Destaro asked,"So we need to track him down and bring him back?"
Yoda replied,"Yes, Master Destaro."
"Then we will be on our way shortly.",said Destaro.
"May the force be with you Master Destaro.",said Yoda.
"And may the force be with you Master Yoda.",replied Destaro.
Chapter 2
Once on Yaven Three Destaro went to a bar to see if they could find someone who knew the Jedi who turned to the dark side.
"What will it be?", Said the bartender.
"Nothing thank you."said Destaro. Do you know where a Jedi who was sent to this moon is?", he then asked.
"Somebody came in here a few days ago, said he was a Jedi he had a few drinks and left.",saidthe bartender.
"Do you know where he went.",asked Destaro.
"I overheard him say he was going to Yaven Four",said the bartender.
"Thank you for your information",remarked Destaro.
He then went outside to tell Kiros what they were going to do next.
"Kiros, he is hiding near here and he knows the bartender.",proclaimed Destaro.
"How do you know master?",asked a clueless Kiros.
Destaro answered,"The bartender said he is on Yaven Four."
"So why not go to Yaven four?",asked Kiros.
Destaro replied,"I feel a disturbence in the force and can sense he is here."
"Where is he Master?",asked Kiros.
"Over there!",yelled Destaro.
They had a massive lightsaber battle and Destaro got force pushed away and Kiros disarmed him.
Chapter 3
"Master, I won, I defeated him, I'm the best.",said an over confident Kiros.
"Good Kiros but don't get co cky."Said Destaro.
"Yes master.",said Kiros.
Once they got back to Corasont they went to turn over the Jedi to Yoda.
"Here is the Jedi, master Yoda" Said Destaro.
"Good job, master Destaro and Kiros."Replied Yoda. "Scarb",he said.
"I dont know.",said the Jedi.
"Scarb, what do you meen master Yoda?",said Kiros
Yoda replied,"A Sith Lord, he is."
"Who is this then?",Kiros asked.
"Master Ciron this is.",replied Yoda.
"So who is Scarb.",Destaro asked.
Yoda replied,"A Sith Lord, he is."
"So why send us to get Ciron?",asked Kiros.
"So he thinks I'm with him",Ciron said,"But now we make a big deal over my escape to Zamardia."
"What escape?",Kiros asked.
"Give him a registered ship we will, make it look like an escape we must." Yoda said.
"So are we to chase Ciron and let him get close to the Sith Lord for us?",asked Kiros.
"Very perseptive young Serose.",said Ciron.
Kiros then asked,"Also master Yoda, am I ready to become a Jedi knight?"
"Ready, you are not.",he replied.
Kiros angerly asked,"But I defeated Ciron, didn't I master Yoda?"
"Trying to kill you he was not, trying to get caught he was.",He answered.
Chapter 4
After his loss at the hands of Kiros, Ciron was angry he had honestly gone all out against him and he still lost
“Why, why, why could I not defeat that padawan?” he yelled
“Do you want power?” a voice asked “Unlimited power to take down all your enemies with no effort what so ever.”
“Who are you?” Ciron asked “And what do you mean unlimited power.”
“My name is Darth Scarb, I am a sith lord, and I saw you get captured, I want you to join me.”
Proclaimed Scarb.
Ciron yelled, “A sith, why would I join a sith I’m a Jedi Master?”
“Ah yes, but I’ve heard you are special you have a hate for young Kiros” Scarb Declared.
Ciron responded, “I may dislike him but Jedi do not hate and so I do not hate.”
Scarb walked away saying, “You may not admit it but you do hate him. And to defeat him you must use that anger and hate and turn to the Dark Side.”
Ciron pondered, “I wonder, do I hate him? Do I hate him enough to turn to the dark side?
And if so, should I turn?” He then yelled, “How do I begin my path to the dark side lord Scarb!”
“Follow me and I will show you how to use the dark side, my apprentice.” Scarb said Ciron following.
Chapter 5
The next day Ciron started his escape. He first used the force to trick a
clone trooper to disable the lock on his light saber. Next he used it to cut himself out of his cell and cut down the trooper. He then cut through the door and 3 more stood in his way, but they were no challenge. He deflected 1 shot and it hit one of them. He then dashed at the others and slashed one. The last one was scared and walked backwards shooting rapidly. Ciron jumped over him and slashed him in the back. Ciron then called upon the force to run approximately 150 MPH. He got to the Command center and sliced a hole in a window. He jumped through the hole straight into the c o c k pit of an ARC 170 starfighter. He then made his escape from Corusant and flew to Koroben where he was to meet Scarb again.
"Do you think he will make it to Zamardia, before he gets trapped by the sith? “Destaro asked.
Kiros responded, “How will you know that he will not fall to the dark side?"
"Know of the temptations he does, fall to the dark side he will not." said Yoda.
"I agree master, but he was mad when I declared my victory. "Keros said, "Master didn't you sense it? “He then asked Destaro.
"I did feel anger, but many people were around, so I thought it was someone else. Are you sure it was him, and not someone else thinking you attacked him for no reason?" He asked horrified.
“I'm sure I even heard a whisper in the deepest reses of his mind saying "I used all my power. That padawan still defeated me, he will pay, he will die."“
Post if you like it or not.
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