If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit."
Bill Maher
I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it.
Clint Eastwood
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
Joe E. Lewis
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Albert Einstein
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
Mark Twain
Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
Steven Wright
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
Steven Wright
W. C. Fields
Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit."
Bill Maher
I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it.
Clint Eastwood
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
Joe E. Lewis
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Albert Einstein
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
Mark Twain
Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
Steven Wright
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
Steven Wright
